Search

Setting The Standard


Setting standards and boundaries in your life is crucial to your mental health. Good mental health and healthy standards and boundaries work together to create a better quality of life. However, you must be clear about what your standards are and make sure that you're sticking to them.


Boundaries vs Standards: What's The Difference?


Boundaries are usually external limits that you set when interacting with others. An example of a boundary would be that you do not accept phone calls after 10PM. 10PM is the boundary that you have set for others when it comes to engaging with you. Standards are internal limits that you set for yourself to support your personal beliefs or values. An example of a standard would be that you will not lie and will not associate yourself with someone that lies. Both boundaries and standards are essential to good mental health.


Why Setting Standards Is Important


Making the decision to set standards in your life is an act of self-love It's you making the conscious decision to prioritize your wants, needs, and goals. Setting standards comes with many benefits. Here are just a few:

  • Self-Esteem Setting standards helps you gain clarity on your self-esteem because it allows you to evaluate the way you view yourself. The standards that you set are a direct reflection of how you see yourself. If you are setting low standards, you may be struggling with low self-esteem.

  • Goal Setting Setting standards can help with goal setting because the standards that you set for yourself will determine your quality of life. With the proper standards, goal setting can help you take your life to the next level.

  • Accountability Because setting standards is more about the internal work that you're doing, setting standards can help keep you accountable for actions. Using the same example above, if your standard is that you will not associate yourself with a lair, then that means that you should not be lying either.


How to Properly Set Standards & Boundaries


  1. Gain clarity There is no way to properly set standards if you are not sure about what it is that you want.

  2. Know your limits Become familiar with what you feel is acceptable and what isn't.

  3. Trust the process Setting standards is not a one-and-done process. It will require you to learn from your mistakes, listen to your emotions, and practice. Don't give up.


Struggling with Setting Standards & Boundaries


Setting standards and boundaries in your life is a journey of self-awareness. However, it may not be easy. Here are some signs that you may be struggling with setting healthy standards and boundaries:

  1. Not speaking up when you feel disrespected or hurt

  2. Feelings of guilt for doing something for yourself

  3. Passive aggressiveness

  4. You constantly find yourself in toxic or one-sided relationships (or friendships)

  5. You have a hard time saying no


If you find yourself struggling with your mental health because of unhealthy standards or boundaries, schedule an appointment with us today to see how we can assist you.